Why Saying “I Am Overwhelmed” Out Loud Helps

When everything feels like too much

Have you ever had one of those moments where everything piles up at once? Your heart is racing, your thoughts are scattered, your chest feels tight, and part of you just wants to escape. Overwhelm rarely arrives as one clear feeling. It tends to feel like everything, all at the same time.

One of the simplest and kindest things you can do in that moment is to pause and say, out loud, “I am overwhelmed.”

It might sound too simple to make a difference. Yet there is good evidence that putting a feeling into words genuinely changes how your brain and body respond to it. In this post I want to share why naming your feelings helps, and how you can start to use it in everyday life.

What happens in your brain when you name a feeling

Psychologists call this practice affect labelling, which simply means putting a word to an emotion. It is one of the most researched and gentle ways of calming difficult feelings.

Research led by Professor Matthew Lieberman at UCLA used brain scans to look at what happens when people name their emotions. When people put a feeling into words, activity in the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) reduced. At the same time part of the prefrontal cortex, an area at the front of the brain linked to calming and regulating emotions, became more active (the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex).

In other words, simply naming the feeling helped the thinking, soothing part of the brain to step in, without the person having to try to calm down. The psychiatrist Dan Siegel describes this beautifully as “name it to tame it”.

The effect shows up in the body too. In one study, people who were frightened of spiders were asked to describe their feelings out loud while near a spider. A week later, their bodies showed less of a stress response than people who had tried to distract themselves or talk themselves out of the fear.

Interestingly, most of us expect that naming a difficult feeling will make it worse, or at least won’t help. The research suggests the opposite.

Why saying it out loud helps

When you say “I am overwhelmed”, that huge, shapeless wave of feeling becomes something with edges. Something you can see, hold and begin to work with. A few gentle shifts happen at once.

You take a small step back. It is very hard to name something while you are completely lost inside it. Naming a feeling creates a little space between you and the emotion, so there is a “you” who is noticing the overwhelm rather than being swallowed by it.

It feels more manageable. Our nervous system finds the unknown far more threatening than the known. Once a feeling has a name, it becomes more understandable, and much less frightening.

Speaking slows things down. Saying the words out loud naturally slows your breathing and pace. It also means you have witnessed your own feeling, rather than it simply happening to you. If you say it to someone you trust, it invites them to support you, and feeling supported is often exactly what an overwhelmed nervous system needs.

It points towards what you need. “Overwhelmed” quietly suggests what might help: less noise, one thing at a time, a pause. Research by Lisa Feldman Barrett suggests that people who can describe their feelings more precisely tend to cope better, and are less likely to reach for unhelpful ways of numbing them.

How to try it for yourself

Play with the words. “I am overwhelmed” can sometimes start to feel like who you are. Try “I’m feeling overwhelmed” or “I notice I’m feeling overwhelmed” instead. These small changes remind you that a feeling is something you are experiencing, not something you are.

Name it, then be curious. Naming works best as a short, honest acknowledgement, followed by a gentle question such as “What do I need right now?” It is different from going over and over how bad things feel, which can keep us stuck.

Ground yourself first if you need to. When feelings are very intense, words can be hard to find. That is completely normal. Slowing your breath, feeling your feet on the floor or noticing five things you can see can help you settle enough to find the words.

Be gentle if it feels hard. Many people find it difficult to know what they are feeling, especially if, growing up, it was not safe to show emotions. Start with how your body feels, such as “tight”, “heavy” or “tingly”. You might also ask yourself, “If this feeling had a name, what would it be?” This is a skill, and like any skill it grows with practice and kindness.

Your feelings do not own you

Naming a feeling moves it from something happening to you to something you are in relationship with. That small shift is often where choice begins. As I often say, your feelings do not own you, you own your feelings.

If overwhelm, anxiety or stress feel like they are taking over, you do not have to work through it alone. Counselling offers a safe, confidential space to slow down, make sense of what you are feeling and discovering ways of coping which work for you. Click the links to read more about how I support people with coping with overwhelm, anxiety and stress.

I offer in-person sessions in Fleet, Hampshire, and online counselling. If you would like to talk please get in touch. You are not alone, I am here for you.

Caroline Ellison Accredited BACP Counsellor & Psychotherapist www.carolineellisoncounselling.co.uk Fleet, Hampshire | 07818 798597

This blog was collated from internet sources for information by a counsellor in Fleet, Hampshire – Caroline at Caroline Ellison Counselling – this is my experience and these are my opinions. Carpe Diem.

Dive Response to Regulate Emotions

Using the Dive Response to Regulate Emotions

Have you ever splashed water on your face to settle your nerves? That instinctive action taps into the Dive Response. When you put your face into water, it triggers this natural reflex, helping your body reset and manage your emotions.

What is the Dive Response?

The Dive Response, also called the mammalian dive reflex, is an automatic physiological reaction that happens when your face contacts water. It involves a set of autonomic nervous system responses aimed at conserving oxygen and keeping your vital organs safe during submersion. Although it’s well-known in diving mammals and human breath-holding, recent research indicates it might also be a powerful tool for emotional regulation.

Understanding the Dive Response

This reflex brings about three main changes in your body:

Bradycardia – your heart slows down
Peripheral vasoconstriction – blood vessels in your extremities tighten
Apnea – a pause in breathing

These reactions work together to save oxygen for organs like your brain and heart. When water touches your face, it activates the trigeminal nerve, which sends signals to your brainstem to automatically kick in these responses.

The Connection Between the Dive Response and Emotions

Studies show that activating the dive response can influence your emotional state in multiple ways:

Reducing Stress and Anxiety:
The calming effects of slowing your heart and controlling your breath mimic meditation. Using controlled breath-holding exercises can help you feel more relaxed, lowering stress hormones like cortisol.
Balancing Your Nervous System:
The dive reflex stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part that promotes rest and recovery. Regular practice, like underwater breathing (meaning breath-holding, free diving, or specific breathing techniques) or face immersion, can build emotional resilience and help manage mood swings.
Boosting Focus and Mindfulness:
The intense concentration required during breath-holding can create a meditative state. This heightened awareness can break negative thought cycles, supporting emotional stability.

Therapeutic Possibilities

More and more, professionals are exploring how to use the dive response for emotional health. Techniques such as static apnea or simply immersing your face in water are being looked at as safe, non-invasive ways to ease anxiety, PTSD, and mood issues. These methods harness your body’s natural responses to cultivate calm and emotional balance.

In Summary

The mammalian dive reflex isn’t just a survival tool for underwater adventures, it is a promising method for emotional regulation, helping reduce stress, clear your mind, and build resilience. As science advances, incorporating dive response techniques into mindfulness and therapy could become a valuable part of emotional wellness strategies.

What is the difference between Shame and Guilt?

Shame and Guilt

Shame and guilt are two complex emotions that often intertwine but possess distinct characteristics and psychological implications. While both are associated with feelings of remorse and wrongdoing, they stem from different sources and impact individuals in various ways. Understanding the difference between shame and guilt is crucial for emotional well-being and personal growth.

Shame:

Shame is a deeply negative and self-deprecating emotion that focuses on the individual as a whole rather than on a specific action or behaviour. It arises when someone perceives themselves as inherently flawed, inadequate or unworthy. Shame often leads to feelings of humiliation, a desire to hide, and a belief that one is fundamentally defective. It is a pervasive emotion that can have damaging effects on self-esteem and overall mental health.

Key characteristics of shame include:

Global Self-View: Shame makes individuals feel like they are fundamentally bad people, regardless of their actions. It attacks their sense of self-worth and identity.
Isolation and Secrecy: People experiencing shame tend to isolate themselves and hide their perceived shortcomings, as they fear being judged or rejected by others.
Self-Focused: Shame is primarily an inward-directed emotion, causing individuals to excessively focus on their own perceived flaws and inadequacies.
Toxicity: Persistent shame can lead to psychological issues such as depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. It may also contribute to destructive behaviours as a coping mechanism.

Guilt:

Guilt, on the other hand, is centred around a specific action or behaviour that is perceived as morally or ethically wrong. It stems from a sense of responsibility for one’s actions and their impact on others. Guilt focuses on the act itself rather than the individual’s identity, allowing for a healthier separation between one’s actions and their core self.

Key characteristics of guilt include:

Action-Based: Guilt is tied to a particular behaviour or action, making it easier to address and rectify. It prompts individuals to take responsibility for their actions and make amends.
Empathy and Concern for Others: Guilt involves recognising how one’s actions have affected others and feeling empathy for their experience. This can motivate positive change and behaviour.
Externalization: Guilt often involves externalizing the wrongdoing, viewing it as a mistake rather than a reflection of one’s identity.
Constructive Potential: Healthy guilt can lead to personal growth, as individuals are encouraged to make reparations and avoid repeating harmful actions.

In summary, the primary distinction between shame and guilt lies in their focus and impact. Shame revolves around a sense of inherent unworthiness and global self-view, while guilt centres on specific actions and their consequences. Or put simply, Shame is when we feel we have done something wrong according to our own rules and Guilt is when we feel we have done something wrong according to other peoples rules.

While both emotions can be uncomfortable, guilt has the potential to be more constructive, as it prompts individuals to take responsibility, make amends, and learn from their mistakes. Recognising these differences can help individuals navigate their emotions, promote self-acceptance, and foster personal development.

Written by your local counsellor in Fleet, Caroline at Caroline Ellison Counselling – this is my experience and these are my opinions. Carpe Diem.

What is Anger?

Anger is one of our core emotions. Emotions are complex feelings we experience mentally, physically and behaviourally:

Mentally we experience our emotions and feelings.
Physically we feel them through awareness, tension and feelings in our body from the pit of our stomach to the tips of our fingers.
Behaviourally we experience our feelings and emotions as an impulse to act.

Continue reading “What is Anger?”